Islam considers marriage as a solemn family relationship between a man and a woman, based on mercy and love.
Marriage in Islam is based on a contract between a man and woman intending to be unified in marriage. Thus, as in any contract in Islam, there are elements which are considered essential to its existence, called 'pillars', as well as the possibility of stipulations of different kinds, legal effects of the contract, etc. Each of these must be understood correctly in order to ensure that the marriage has been performed according to the legal conditions and that the rightful effects of the marriage are guaranteed to each of the contracting parties.
The Pillars of a Marriage Contract According to the Majority of Scholars
1. Offer and acceptance are among the pillars. For most scholars, the offer must be from the woman's side and the acceptance from the man.
2. The two parties to the contract: the prospective husband and the guardian of the woman.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Friday, December 4, 2009
Engagement: A Promise of Marriage
It is important to clarify that engagement in Islam is just a promise of marriage. It does not entitle fiancés to any special rights over one another, other than publicly declaring serious interest in a life-long commitment to each other under Allah's law.
So Muslim fiancés should be conscious of that fact while dealing with each other during the engagement period, the same rules of decent conduct apply that they would normally follow while dealing with a member of the opposite sex who is a non-mahram. That is, your fiancé is not your lawful husband yet. That could change only after they have been formally declared husband and wife.
So while an engaged couple may freely discuss their values and ethics, plan for their future life together, and choose and prepare a home to live in after they are married, they should also be careful to avoid privacy together and the type of intimacy that is only allowed between married couples in Islam.
After all, an engagement is just a declaration of intention to get married, and only if and when both sides feel absolutely certain of that decision. It should be clear that an engagement — like any preliminary contract or letter of understanding — can be revoked at any point before the commitment of marriage, without any formal consequences to either side.
Muslims believe that they will never get anything that Allah had not destined for them; nor will they ever lose anything that was meant to be theirs. Therefore, if a man and woman were destined by Allah for each other, there will be plenty of time to express their feelings freely once they are married. If not, then obviously there is no need to create bitter memories and any deeds you would not want to face Allah with.
You say you do not wear hijab, so while you have the right to be happy and look beautiful on this special occasion, you are also expected to do that in a modest and conservative way, taking into consideration that the men around are non-mahram to you. May Allah guide you and support you to please Him as best you can.
So Muslim fiancés should be conscious of that fact while dealing with each other during the engagement period, the same rules of decent conduct apply that they would normally follow while dealing with a member of the opposite sex who is a non-mahram. That is, your fiancé is not your lawful husband yet. That could change only after they have been formally declared husband and wife.
So while an engaged couple may freely discuss their values and ethics, plan for their future life together, and choose and prepare a home to live in after they are married, they should also be careful to avoid privacy together and the type of intimacy that is only allowed between married couples in Islam.
After all, an engagement is just a declaration of intention to get married, and only if and when both sides feel absolutely certain of that decision. It should be clear that an engagement — like any preliminary contract or letter of understanding — can be revoked at any point before the commitment of marriage, without any formal consequences to either side.
Muslims believe that they will never get anything that Allah had not destined for them; nor will they ever lose anything that was meant to be theirs. Therefore, if a man and woman were destined by Allah for each other, there will be plenty of time to express their feelings freely once they are married. If not, then obviously there is no need to create bitter memories and any deeds you would not want to face Allah with.
You say you do not wear hijab, so while you have the right to be happy and look beautiful on this special occasion, you are also expected to do that in a modest and conservative way, taking into consideration that the men around are non-mahram to you. May Allah guide you and support you to please Him as best you can.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
The "Pistachio Principle" of Weight Loss
James Painter, PhD, RD, has come up with a new, non-dieting approach to weight loss that he calls the "Pistachio Principle." He says his experiments have shown that people can consume fewer calories without consciously restricting themselves, and yet finish a meal feeling as satisfied and full as does the average American who consumes more calories.
Long-term failure of diets
As justification for the new direction he is taking, he cites the fact that all forms of dieting, including the Pritikin Principle®, the Atkins Diet®, and Weight Watchers®, have yielded poor long-term weight-loss results, and he points to rebound eating in response to feelings of deprivation as one probable reason for their failure.
To address weight issues from another direction, Painter, a professor and chair of the School of Family and Consumer Sciences at Eastern Illinois University, advocates a behavioral and environmental approach that he's developed.
How, you ask, can you have calorie reduction without a feeling of restriction or deprivation?
Why increase those feelings of deprivation?
According to Painter, Americans over the past decades haven't consciously set out to increase the amounts of fat, carbohydrates, or calories they eat--there's no grand plan afoot to gain lots of weight. And so, he questions why we would do an about-face and consciously restrict extra calories, thereby igniting feelings of deprivation.
In one of Painter's behavioral studies, subjects self-selected helpings of either shelled pistachios or those still in their shells. Since pistachios in shells take more effort and time to eat, the actual calories these subjects consumed were 50 percent less than those eaten by the shelled-nut group. And the upshot was, both groups felt equally satisfied with their portions, and equally full.
How you might put the Pistachio Principle to the test:
Instead of drinking juices, where calories are quickly consumed, eat fresh fruit instead--a whole orange or tangerine, for example, eaten slowly and section-by-section after peeling it, takes longer to consume and has fiber you don't find in the juice.
If you have a hankering for peanuts, go with shelled vs. unshelled.
Try cutting up fresh fruits and veggies into much smaller pieces than you normally would and see how slowly you can eat them.
The bottom line is that it takes your brain 20 minutes to get the signal that you're full. The Pistachio Principle may slow your eating down to the point where you can feel that the stomach is full before you tuck into that second helping.
What do you think about the "Pistachio Principle"?
Long-term failure of diets
As justification for the new direction he is taking, he cites the fact that all forms of dieting, including the Pritikin Principle®, the Atkins Diet®, and Weight Watchers®, have yielded poor long-term weight-loss results, and he points to rebound eating in response to feelings of deprivation as one probable reason for their failure.
To address weight issues from another direction, Painter, a professor and chair of the School of Family and Consumer Sciences at Eastern Illinois University, advocates a behavioral and environmental approach that he's developed.
How, you ask, can you have calorie reduction without a feeling of restriction or deprivation?
Why increase those feelings of deprivation?
According to Painter, Americans over the past decades haven't consciously set out to increase the amounts of fat, carbohydrates, or calories they eat--there's no grand plan afoot to gain lots of weight. And so, he questions why we would do an about-face and consciously restrict extra calories, thereby igniting feelings of deprivation.
In one of Painter's behavioral studies, subjects self-selected helpings of either shelled pistachios or those still in their shells. Since pistachios in shells take more effort and time to eat, the actual calories these subjects consumed were 50 percent less than those eaten by the shelled-nut group. And the upshot was, both groups felt equally satisfied with their portions, and equally full.
How you might put the Pistachio Principle to the test:
Instead of drinking juices, where calories are quickly consumed, eat fresh fruit instead--a whole orange or tangerine, for example, eaten slowly and section-by-section after peeling it, takes longer to consume and has fiber you don't find in the juice.
If you have a hankering for peanuts, go with shelled vs. unshelled.
Try cutting up fresh fruits and veggies into much smaller pieces than you normally would and see how slowly you can eat them.
The bottom line is that it takes your brain 20 minutes to get the signal that you're full. The Pistachio Principle may slow your eating down to the point where you can feel that the stomach is full before you tuck into that second helping.
What do you think about the "Pistachio Principle"?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Facts on Foods That Speed Up Metabolism
Revving Your Engine
Metabolism is a process that breaks down carbohydrates, fats and proteins in the food you eat to make the energy your body needs to build and maintain itself. Proper nutrition keeps your body functioning well, but the right foods can also speed up your metabolism. The amount of calories you eat, your genes and the amount of calories that you burn while eating and exercising determine your metabolism. The body breaks down carbohydrates, then fats and finally proteins. The food that you eat makes up 5 to 10 percent of your metabolic rate.
Stocking Your Cupboard
Foods that speed up your metabolism are vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, fish, healthy fats and whole grains. Look for these vegetables when shopping: spinach, broccoli, carrots, asparagus, cabbage, beet roots, assorted beans and dark, leafy vegetables. Any type of fresh fruit is good for you, but try eating blueberries, melons, apples, citrus fruits and tomatoes. Skinless poultry and eggs are excellent sources of protein. The omega 3 fatty acids in fish boost your metabolism by burning up to 400 calories a day. The enzymes in your body that burn fat increase while those that store fat decrease. If you are not a fish eater, take omega 3 capsules that contain a minimum of 300 milligrams total of EPA and DHA. Eat healthy fats like nuts and peanut butter. Whole grains found in brown rice, cereal, barley and oats speed up your metabolism as well. Consume foods with B vitamins, magnesium and fiber to increase your metabolism.
Too Much of a Good Thing
Portion control is still important. Just because these foods are good for you doesn't mean that you can go overboard. Eat several small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day. A good habit to start is reading the Nutrition Facts Labels on food containers. These labels tell what a single serving size is and the nutrients found in that serving.
Losing While You Eat
Know the caloric content of the foods that you eat. Nutrition Facts Labels tell the number of calories in a serving also. There are negative calorie foods that burn more calories during digestion than the foods contain themselves. For most people, a healthy number of calories per day is between 2,200 and 2,800 depending on their sex and size.
Balance It Out
Eating the right foods to speed up your metabolism and supplement your diet by incorporating other good habits. Drink plenty of water during the day. Six to eight glasses is a good goal. Exercise at least three times a week. Use free weights to help stimulate your metabolism by building muscle tone.
Metabolism is a process that breaks down carbohydrates, fats and proteins in the food you eat to make the energy your body needs to build and maintain itself. Proper nutrition keeps your body functioning well, but the right foods can also speed up your metabolism. The amount of calories you eat, your genes and the amount of calories that you burn while eating and exercising determine your metabolism. The body breaks down carbohydrates, then fats and finally proteins. The food that you eat makes up 5 to 10 percent of your metabolic rate.
Stocking Your Cupboard
Foods that speed up your metabolism are vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, fish, healthy fats and whole grains. Look for these vegetables when shopping: spinach, broccoli, carrots, asparagus, cabbage, beet roots, assorted beans and dark, leafy vegetables. Any type of fresh fruit is good for you, but try eating blueberries, melons, apples, citrus fruits and tomatoes. Skinless poultry and eggs are excellent sources of protein. The omega 3 fatty acids in fish boost your metabolism by burning up to 400 calories a day. The enzymes in your body that burn fat increase while those that store fat decrease. If you are not a fish eater, take omega 3 capsules that contain a minimum of 300 milligrams total of EPA and DHA. Eat healthy fats like nuts and peanut butter. Whole grains found in brown rice, cereal, barley and oats speed up your metabolism as well. Consume foods with B vitamins, magnesium and fiber to increase your metabolism.
Too Much of a Good Thing
Portion control is still important. Just because these foods are good for you doesn't mean that you can go overboard. Eat several small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day. A good habit to start is reading the Nutrition Facts Labels on food containers. These labels tell what a single serving size is and the nutrients found in that serving.
Losing While You Eat
Know the caloric content of the foods that you eat. Nutrition Facts Labels tell the number of calories in a serving also. There are negative calorie foods that burn more calories during digestion than the foods contain themselves. For most people, a healthy number of calories per day is between 2,200 and 2,800 depending on their sex and size.
Balance It Out
Eating the right foods to speed up your metabolism and supplement your diet by incorporating other good habits. Drink plenty of water during the day. Six to eight glasses is a good goal. Exercise at least three times a week. Use free weights to help stimulate your metabolism by building muscle tone.
Friday, June 26, 2009
The climb- Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's The Climb
The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I mean I know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep goingAnd I,
I got to be strongJust keep pushing on,
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Keep on movingKeep climbing
Keep the faith babyIt's all about
It's all aboutThe climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A Little Too Not over You
by David Archuleta
Oohhhh oh, oh..
It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....
Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh..
Oohhhh oh, oh..
It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....
Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Tell me why it's so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh..
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